Before I was awakened and initiated in Black thought and consciousness, I had a deep, dark, disgusting secret… I was addicted to white girls.
I have been with women of every race, but my trysts with Japanese, Koreans, and Latinas was more out of novelty than anything else. But white girls weren’t just novelties for me…white girls were something else entirely.
They were my weakness, my Achilles heel, my guilty pleasure. I justified my lust by saying ‘we are in a post-racial society’, ‘I’m not a reverse racist so its cool’, and ‘just because I am with a white girl doesn’t mean I don’t love my people.’
But deep down, something didn’t feel right. As I woke up to the truth, I joined several organizations and sat in circles with other Seekers in the Black Conscious community. The men in those circles unanimously declared that the Black Woman is divine. They espouse their love of natural Queens rockin natural hair. They eschewed mainstream hip hop, could quote Cheik and build with the best of the 5 Percenters.
And then….then…..their rides pull up and whose in the driver seat? A white girl. Something is not quite right with the picture. Its kinda like that one clip…
“Sweet milk of magnesia, after the devil made you he broke the mold” ?
Little did I realize back then, this phenomenon of white girl addiction has always been epic in its proportions in the Black community.
Before he became Malcolm X, Malcolm Little fell victim to the curse. In The Autobiography of Malcolm X he describes his relationships with a white woman named Sophia, who became the very embodiment of white female sexuality, or, as X would probably put it, white female lust for black male body. Although X does not deny his physical attraction to Sophia (he describes her as “almost too fine to believe” (152)), he stresses her function in his life as a status symbol when he says: “I paraded her. The Negro men loved her” (152).
- Amazon Kindle Edition
- X, MALCOLM (Author)
- English (Publication Language)
Thurgood Marshall, the first African American to serve on the Supreme Court of the United States was married to a white woman. King Kong was surrounded by beautiful Black women in Africa, but he catches sight of one white woman and goes ape-shit, swimming across the Atlantic, climbing skyscrapers, unleashing hell to get at a white girl. Art imitates life.
Frederick Douglass was married to his white second wife until the day he died. (He dismissed the controversy surrounding the marriage saying his first marriage honored his mother’s race and his second honored his father’s…whatever the hell that means). Tiger Woods fell victim. Michael Jackson, most black athletes, on and on.
As I grew in Black Consciousness, I struggled to make sense out of the whole thing. How could we worship the Black Woman with our words, but worship white women with our deeds?
Challenging White Girl Rationalizations
In trying to understand my own hypocrisy, I asked other Brothers to explain why they chose white women. They were quick to offer rationalizations like the following:
“White girls are easier to deal with”
“Black women are angry/trifling/etc”
“White women are freakier than Black women”
“White girls know how to treat a Black man”
“I cant find a Sista who don’t have three kids and a baby daddy getting ready to get out of the Pen”
But when I challenged these rationalizations, none of them could stand up to the truth, and those who think the grass is greener on the other side are wrong. You get just as many problems with white women as you do with Black women.
For instance, while Black women tend to resort to righteous anger, white women resort to tears…and there’s nothing worse than people seeing a Black man make a white woman cry in public. I’m pretty sure in some parts of the South that’s still a felony.
White women aren’t any freakier than Black women either. I’m not going to go into details, but some of the
nastiest most intimate experiences I have had were with my Queen – my BLACK Queen.
While white women are more passive (they have never needed to develop the assertiveness that our Black women have), anyone who has dated a white woman is familiar with this scenario:
I was dating this [white] girl one time and she was annoying the hell out of me one time when we were out for drinks with some friends. After a while it led to an argument, not really an argument, but it was me exploding because I had been drinking and I said, “Just go home, go the f*ck home, take my keys, go to my apartment and do not go to sleep until I get there.” Son…. She said, “OK.” She actually did that, and that let me know that you just can’t give men that type of power in a relationship, I had to get away from her. – Single Black Male
So its not that white women “treat their men better” per se. Its just that they are more passive. They would rather agree with everything you have to say and want to do than create friction.
When it came to this Black on white miscegenation, I suspected that something was deeper than just superficial attraction. So I started my own White Girl Detox program to get to the bottom of it.
The White Girl Detox 3 Step Program
This is a simple, three step program that any Black man can can deploy any time, anywhere:
Step 1: The Eye Bounce – If you have found yourself eyeing white girls without realizing it, bounce your eyes away as soon as you are conscious of what you are doing. You cant help the first look, but you can help the looks after that. Besides, eye-f*cking every female that you see is uncivilized and disgusting, and other people see you looking thirsty.
Step 2: Notice the aesthetic beauty of Black women exclusively. Think about what you love about our women beyond the obvious and sexual. Black women have mannerisms and expressions that no other women on the planet can imitate.
Step 3: Meditate on both the internal and external real reasons for your attraction (addiction?) to white women. More often than not, you aren’t going to like the real reasons that you find!
Internally, you might come to realize that the real problem lies not with Black women, but you as a Black man (your bad conflict resolution skills, your lack of empathy, your poor leadership abilities, your unwillingness to put in the work). Any Queen worth her crown will demand the best from you. If you are not willing to show yourself a man, you are unworthy of her respect. If you are unwilling to earn her respect by improving yourself and would rather be an object of a white woman’s fetish, then admit it and move on rather than degrade your Black woman.
Conditioned Black Self Hatred
Centuries of social, political, and economic disenfranchisement on the basis of color led many members of darker groups to do everything in their power to avoid the stigma of being associated with Black. –Source
Ultimately, my evolution in the conscious community helped me understand that my white girl complex was not only the result of internal issues, but externally conditioned self hatred.
While there were (and still are) many sources of this conditioning, the media is the worst offender.
I remember one track on UGKs old Underground Kingz album (this was before my Great Awakening, when I was still allowing garbage to influence my psyche) where this cat named Pimpin Ken went on for like 2 straight minutes on the benefits of white women over Black Ones. The language does not represent the views of the Pan-African Alliance, so I wont link to the album here.
More recently, I remember countless advertisements over the holiday season featuring every kind of couple pairing besides Black couples.
Our women are being conditioned to seek out white partners as well. Tyler Perry’s archetypal white (or high yellow) man coming in to save the miserable Black woman from her miserable Black man in all his movies dont help at all. You know what else doesn’t help? These “problems with the Black community” news specials. They have the whole world (including Blacks in America and Africa) thinking that we Blacks in America are all poverty, illiteracy, and disenfranchisement.
With this image in mind, interracial dating is more prevalent amongst Blacks in America than amongst any other race anywhere else…like we are trying to breed ourselves out of existence. See, Black men and women dont value other Black men and women for the above reasons as well as a lack of knowledge of self and the value of ones blood heritage.
As the Hon. Marcus Garvey once said, “If Blacks knew more of their glorious past, then they would be more inclined to respect themselves!” But since the grand majority have no knowledge of self, and we are all taught that “White is Right” (albeit subliminally), then we subconsciously value the white woman while simultaneously devaluing ourselves and our Black counterparts. Its an ugly situation.
If Black men understood the role of the woman as Queen and co-regent (as opposed to the white/Christian stance that the woman is the “weaker vessel” and subordinate to the man) then the Black woman would be valued for her strength, instead of scorned for it! Media, religion, and so called education are all means of indoctrinating Black men and women in racial self-hatred!
We have been conditioned to value white standards of beauty above all else. The same reason why pregnant women are bleaching their unborn babies in the womb may be the same reason you chase white women.
Although some parts of this article are satirical (I should close the comments section now), it speaks to a very real hypocrisy in our community. Can you really claim to love your people with all your heart if the person closest to your heart is a white girl?